Learning Explosion!

In late 2011 I had the most incredible experiences. I went from 0 to 100 in no time, and the learning was absolutely incredible. Everything was totally new so I had to start from the ground up.

In September 2011 I managed to brush off my own barriers and started building my collection of wardrobe, makeup, and some other goodies. Since I didn’t know anything about appearing female, except my own observations, at that time I had no experience putting all the elements together. That lack of experience was not a deterrent to go learn how to do it. On the contrary, it was the fuel that got me started and going.

Body Shaping

At the beginning of my crossdressing days I was overweight but I knew there were some basics that could make my body appear more feminine. In general terms were the breasts, a smaller waist, and wider hips. I then started experimenting and figuring out what would work for me.

For the breasts I got a pair of breastforms which were super large. After all it was me as the guy with a sexualized view of femininity that bought them. Back to the point, learning how to wear them and what would make them look good was incredible. The experiments, the photos, the little improvement every time was what kept it super fun.

For the waist I had a couple of orthopaedic belts from a few years back when I developed a hernia. I learnt to reduce my waist by a considerable amount by exhaling all the air out while tightening up that thing.

The hips became a more interesting project since I didn’t have anything that I could just put on like the breastforms or the orthopaedic belt. Here I started experimenting with soft packing foam. I ended cutting up some foam into 4 pads. Two ovals for the butt cheeks, and 2 that had like a P shape that would go on the thighs. The idea was to smoothly transition from the leg up the thigh to the hips and then around the bum. Again, the experimentation trying out different shapes, angles and sizes was incredible. Little by little experimentation, when worn with thick tights they did create somewhat natural looking wider hips.

Makeup

Since I didn’t have any experience with makeup, wardrobe, and hair the first few times were frustrating. Nevertheless I could see that there was potential, and the fact that I was starting to build a collection kept inspiring and pushing me. My first resource was fashion photography online. I would apply makeup roughly trying to mimic what I saw. It became clear that I had to do something with the 5 o’clock beard shadow. Even when I had just shaven, the beard shadow be very visible. No amount of foundation would help. I later learnt to use something red to balance the blue from the beard.

Makeup was important to me but I was lost and could not get it to look very good.  This is where my desire was so strong that I brushed off any reservation and I contacted someone that offered “transformations” online. A transformation is when someone that understands the challenges of the male physiognomy applies makeup, hair/wig and in some cases wardrobe to appear feminine. The experiences were totally out of these world. Compared to what I look like now, I looked just bad, but I felt I looked so good then. And without those first “bad looks” I wouldn’t have improved.

Imagine the terrifying sensation of being recognized. I thought if anyone that knew me caught me doing this, I was toast. But the curiosity was so strong that in just a few weeks I managed to get 3 transformations done by 3 different people. In each case it was the most amazing thrill. On one side the fear of being recognized and all its implications, but on the other, being able to get help from someone that claims to know how to transform a guy. Being able to talk to someone about the challenges I had with makeup. Being able to learn from these people so I could fly on my own.

The pinnacle of the makeup learning experience was when I contacted a professional makeup artist online. She had worked in the entertainment industry so she had all sorts of clients and styles. Also she was a makeup instructor. To cut to the chase, she came over to my place, did my makeup and gave me a class.  The experience was intense. A stranger, coming to my place, who did my makeup and explained to me how she did it. She gave me what at the time was an overwhelming collection of tips, most of which I didn’t process because of the sheer amount, and left me with some notes on the canvas she uses in her makeup classes. She certainly super-charged my path of learning and discovery. I had no idea about brushes, primers, colour schemes, and how to deal with the beard, let alone make it all work. But she got me started.

After a few days I was learning to put on faux lashes, even colour contacts, and with practice managed to learn to do my whole face.  The learning curve was steep with frustrations at the beginning; faux lashes and contacts are tough. But as I overcame them and learnt to deal with them, the fun would just take over. It was the fun of taming the challenge, and the incredible feeling of seeing what was in the mirror and on the photos I took.

Photography

Through out the whole learning process I took photographs of myself. They were my point of reference to see what worked and what didn’t. First the wardrobe and initial poses. Next makeup and expressions. Then came lighting and attitude. In a few weeks I went from a point and shoot camera to a DSLR, and then lenses, lights, light stands, umbrellas; a whole photo studio.

The learning was intense again.  On a typical night I would spend about 2 hours applying makeup, then trying on an outfit, shooting hundreds of photos with that outfit, and then change to another outfit. But every action was a learning experience. When applying the makeup it went from choosing the right brush for the job to mixing colours, to ensuring the beard would not show up. With the outfits it was about what would work with what, which shoes looked better, what kind and colour of hosiery would match, and then which accessories. With the photography it had to do with angles, poses, lighting, depth of field, framing, background…

All this learning became a cycle. I wanted to learn more, so I needed to practice more. To practice more I needed to learn more. Learn, learn, learn!