No one should care about what’s between my legs, but I’m going to tell you with a good level of detail. More importantly here you’ll learn about what it has been like for me after a few years since I had my vulvoplasty.
For some time I’ve been wanting to put together my experiences about what life has been since the surgery. Up until now they’ve just been disorganised thoughts. Now 2025 marks the tenth anniversary since I started “transition” so I thought it would be a good opportunity. So I did. I wrote a very long post covering all sorts of subjects and once I was done I decided to break it up into 4 separate articles. Here is the first one.
This is one of those extremely personal posts, or series of posts rather. The topic can be uncomfortable. For any cisgender person (if you’re not sure or you don’t know if you are cisgender, don’t worry; you are indeed cisgender) reading this I assume you may get a little uneasy at times. I can see some of my childhood friends and family cringing as they read through some paragraphs below.
I feel exposed publishing this but not unsafe. After all this blog is my own sandbox. If I had written something similar a few years ago I may have felt a bit of shame or embarrassment because it’s a touchy subject. The fact is that I chose to have the surgery so why in the world would I feel indignity? Nonsense. This is my reality.
Some Background
My vulvoplasty was in November of 2019. As of this writing in late 2025 it has being 6 years almost to the day since the surgery. I will not get into what it was like during the first few weeks and months after the procedure. Sufficient to say that there were lots of changes through recovery and as I got used to the new anatomy. You will find lots and lots of people online talking about this early phase. Though, there is not much pragmatic information about what life is like a few years after a vulvoplasty. Or even a vaginoplasty for that matter.
A medical explanation of the procedure can be found on the GrS Montréal website. This is where my surgery was performed. If you are unfamiliar or unsure about the technique, I’d encourage you to read through the link. Thankfully their explanation is not overly complex nor too long.
The Surgery
There are different kinds of genital reconstruction surgeries. For trans women a very common one is a vaginoplasty, with the objective of creating a neovulva and a functional neovagina. Another is a vulvoplasty, which is quite similar with the aim to fashion a neovulva but without the vaginal cavity. This is what I had done and the subject of this series of posts.
There are other types of genital reconstruction surgeries but I will not discuss them here since I was not interested in them. Actually, when I considered my surgical choices I had narrowed it down to only two options. Either I was NOT going to have any genital surgery or if I was, it would be a vulvoplasty.
Further Semantic Explanation
You may have noticed I referred to genital reconstruction opposite to other common terms. I’m fairly sure it makes some people squirm because it is a harsh phrase. Though, as horrible as it sounds I believe it is direct and to the point.
A list of some of less jarring names includes “bottom surgery”, GRS (Gender Reassignment Surgery), SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery), GAS (Gender Affirming Surgery – which could mean all sorts of procedures regarding different body parts/areas), etc. For the way I identify I don’t like any of those terms because I do not relate to reassigning or affirming anything. Rather I decided to have the vulvoplasty to align my body to my gender expression and presentation. For a somewhat in-depth discussion of why I chose a vulvoplasty over a vaginoplasty you can read an article I wrote for the TransAvenue blog of GrS Montréal. Also, here’s a list of my posts related to this surgery here on 
HolaSoyYo.com.
A very good friend likes to say “it’s having the right parts”. I’ve always liked her description because it can mean so much. Though I have a slightly differing point of view. I never felt I had the wrong parts and that they are the right ones now. My angle is probably more simplistic. I had what I was born with and now I don’t.
No Depth
In some literature or surgical websites you may come across phrases like “zero depth vaginoplasty”, “shallow vaginoplasty”, or “minimal depth vaginoplasty”. GrS Montréal uses the term “vaginoplasty without vaginal cavity”. Being the semantics sergeant that I tend to be, I don’t associate with any of these expressions either. The reason is they all have the word “vaginoplasty” as in there is a vagina somewhere, somehow. I mean, yes, there is about a 2 cm deep vestibule but I cannot call that a vagina in any way shape or form.
Quick Note on Recovery
Post-op care and recovery are beyond the scope of these articles. I already mentioned there is a plethora of people online talking about their recoveries. Nevertheless convalescence and post-op care are hard. I did note that my surgeries that affected soft tissue (vulvoplasty, mammoplasty, liposuction) were more painful than those that mostly involved bone (e.g. FFS procedures). Another aspect is that by not having a vaginal canal my recovery was “simpler” than that of a vaginoplasty.
Answering The Call of Nature
For some reason peeing was the first topic that came to mind when I started writing about what life is like now. Probably because this is the most repetitive daily task and obvious change.
Sitting down or squatting is pretty much required now when it wasn’t prior to surgery. Sometimes I can pee “clean” but most often urine runs down my thigh for some reason that still escapes me*. It may be to the right, sometimes the left, others both thighs, and even it goes backwards. At first I would get really upset about this randomness. By now I’m used to it though I wish it didn’t happen or I knew better how to control it.
Lab Sample Collection
Related to making a mess is going to a lab for a urine sample. I’ve heard that there is a mythical funnel to help collect urine. This ephemeral tool has eluded me. In fact when I request one at a lab they don’t even comprehend what I’m asking. I really don’t understand why it’s considered normal to get pee all over your hands when collecting a sample.
I recently had to provide frequent urine specimens so I looked for a solution to this mess. After asking at a few pharmacies, some specialised, I was referred to an outdoors and camping store. There I found a female urination device. Well, this puppy makes a world of difference. Getting a urine sample with this thingy is no longer a mess. I haven’t gone camping yet but it should help as well.
The gadget in the photo looks large and bulky. It can be, but it’s made of silicon so it folds and packs away in a small discreet container, and is also easy to clean.
Funny – not-funny side note. When I tried this gizmo for the first time I had some unexpected strong mixed feelings. On one side it made peeing into a tiny cup possible without getting urine all over my hands. On the other was the incompatibility that I was able to do this in the past.
Loo Tissue
I always knew how important was to find a good brand of bathroom tissue. You know, depending on the type of paper sometimes they break, tear, or you need more. What I found extremely annoying post-op is spotting small fragments of tissue on myself and on my knickers after wiping dry the front. I don’t remember having this issue when pooping. Now the brand that I choose has gained even more importance than before.
A Shorter Urethra
For someone that hasn’t had a penectomy the change in length of the urethra may not come to mind. After the surgery the urethra is much shorter. This means that urine will exit the body much quicker than before. That seemingly minor difference has at least a couple of implications. One is that if the urethral sphincter allows a drop of urine to exit the bladder it will leak. Prior to surgery that tiny amount of pee could stay in the longer urethra until I got to the loo. I also had to learn that pee comes out a split second sooner than what I was used to. This small amount of time is important when you need to undress to pee. It sounds stupid, obvious, and maybe inconsequential, but it’s not as you can pee before you’re actually ready.
Yet another detail about a shorter urethra is that the chances of a UTI increase. Bacteria can reach the bladder easier with less distance to travel. So far I have not experienced a UTI but I am mindful of the higher risk. This is heighten by the fact that you may have to sit to pee. Depending on the cleanliness of some loos the manoeuvre may require hovering over the toilet seat. So strong quad muscles will help staying off questionable surfaces.
One of my friends credits the bathroom tissue fragments for some UTIs that she has endured. This is another reminder that hygiene is now more important.
No Menstrual Period
Though not directly related to surgery, this is pretty obvious to any trans person but I though I’d mention it. By not having female sex organs I do not expereince menstrual cycles. One of the things I’ve (also) learnt to navigate is when other women talk about their period. Though I will never experience it I now have a much better appreciation of what the great majority of women grow up with. Compared to what I now know, I had no clue before transition. I figure that for people that don’t menstruate to have a tiny bit of understanding we need to be extremely empathic and intuitive. Mentally it is complicated when talking to other women while they are having their period, just because I don’t have the experience.
Yet another level of awkwardness for me is when someone tells me about their period, or even worse, asks me about mine, and they don’t know I’m trans. It really depends on the situation. Sometimes it’s a good opportunity to invite them into my world. Other times I evade the question with an empathic comment.
You can continue reading the next post on the series Life After a Vulvoplasty II – Untethering & Physical Appearance.
*P.S. I do know why it runs down my things or backwards when I pee. It’s a combination of factors with flow being the most important. With a steady rate it does not run down my thighs. Other factors are moisture level, inclination, how much I’m able to spread while sitting, etc.