What does 1) a visit to the endocrinologist, 2) being a few days with a childhood friend, and 3) an abandoned blog have in common? The answer is to move on with life.
A Visit to The Endocrinologist
In 2025 it is ten years that I’ve been seeing the same endocrinologist for my hormone replacement therapy (HRT). At first the visits were quite frequent as we fine tuned my treatment. After the first two or three years and since these visits have been annual. At the beginning the only thing I cared was getting “good levels” estrogen. Everything was all about getting the highest number. For the past number of years my estrogen levels have been consistent. Now those numbers are not the objective of my visits with the doctor. Quite the contrary. Now what is important is that I’m healthy and that the hormone levels are within nominal ranges.
When I went for my yearly checkup in 2024 the doctor and I were chatting about the evolution of my visits throughout the years. I mentioned that for me it’s more important to “be well” rather than having my estrogen levels through the roof. His reply was that that is his job. What he cares about is that his patients get the treatment that best works for them. Later he just checks in with the patient to ensure the treatment doesn’t need tweaking. His true objective is to make sure his patients can live their lives without their HRT being a distraction.
And that is exactly what happened with me. During the first months and 2 or 3 years there were numerous consults until we found the treatment that worked best for me. Now my consults with him are to say hi, catch up with our lives during the last year, and of course to check we don’t need to make any changes. In other words to move on with my life.
Being a Few Days With a Childhood Friend
In the summer of 2024 I had the opportunity to go for a trip with a friend I know from growing up. He knows me from way before I opened up and started my process. One day on the trip he goes:
I’m going to ask you what we all want to know but no one has the guts to ask. Have you had your penis removed?
The subject of that question is so wide that I will leave it for a future article. For now, what caught my eye and that I did not see coming was that he didn’t know. Not only that he didn’t know but that my other childhood friends didn’t know either. I answered his question and explained what my process was like. After chatting with him I noted he had even more questions but due to being on the trip we didn’t have a good opportunity to dive in further.
After my vulvoplasty it has never been a topic of discussion because, first, it’s no ones business what I have between my legs. Second, even though I don’t talk about it it’s not something I hide. Here in this blog I have a few posts where I talk about the topic.
That’s it. That I’ve moved on with my life and often I don’t stop and think who knows what. I always assume people know, maybe because I know and think about it every day. I forget that people don’t know where I come from. It’s something that baffles me and if I’m honest, it’s something I like. This way I don’t worry about what people knows and much less what they think of me. In other words I move on with my life.
The Abandoned Blog
Finally, this blog that appears abandoned because I haven’t published consistently like I did in the past. Simply put I’ve moved on with my life. This blog has been an integral part of my process. I’ve always wanted it to be a reference of my experiences for another person that may be going through something similar.
Lately I was with another friend that already knew I’m trans. At one point I mentioned something about my hormone treatment and that I cannot produce my own estrogen. Well, that was enough to have a very pleasant and long chat about what my process has been like. Just like with my childhood friend, I assumed she’d figure that as a trans person I don’t have ovaries to produce my own estrogen.
Now I see the importance of the blog and that it shouldn’t be abandoned. As my life goes on it is now somewhat more difficult to allocate the time it deserves. Definitively there is an opportunity to share if people I love and those I’ve opened up to don’t know as much as I assume. Sharing would help normalize my experiences and those from other transgender people.
Hi Franches, I’m really happy that you have reached such an important milestone in the process wherein the technical aspect of your gender transition is mostly behind you. Now you can focus on living authentically. You have always been an inspiration 🙂
Great to see you writing! Wise words .. live life 🙂 Jo
Thanks for piping up again, and hope you don’t completely abandon talking about your experiences as your life goes on, you will surely have some wise hindsight to share with us! Like how you have moved on now and the little things you notice that show plenty of people still need to get themselves educated!
Love you.
We always appreciate what you decide to share.
And yes… there’s a lot we don’t know 🙂