Soft Power to Normalise Our Experiences

There are a few ways we can reduce or sidestep the chastisement of transgender individuals. One is through activism like participating in public demonstrations, in social debate, etc. Another is by using soft power, like educating someone uniformed or detached from the subject matter.

A friend put it very eloquently when she said “I dream of a day when being trans is about as significant as wearing glasses.” Personally I think that by normalising the trans experiences is one of the best ways to inform and enlighten the public.

Synonyms of normal

• ordinary, average, run-of-the-mill, standard, typical, middle-of-the-road, common, conventional, mainstream, unremarkable, unexceptional, plain, simple
• usual, standard, typical, stock, common, ordinary, customary, conventional, habitual, accustomed, expected, wonted, everyday, regular, routine

When I used to teach in a classroom I always started the first class by joking and teasing about being ESL and my accent. By setting myself in a vulnerable position it later allowed me to not fret about making a grammar or pronunciation mistake. Every so often I have used a similar technique to share and at the same time normalise some of my trans experiences.

Practical Examples of Soft Power

Sometimes I have opened myself wide open to cisgender individuals with the mere intention to let them know I’m trans or to make them aware of something that only trans people undergo. I like to control the narrative but in a soft manner. It’s like grabbing the bull by the horns but without it being aware. Normally I do it in a calculated fashion.

Removing the Option of Refusal

Once I had an appointment with a dermatologist for Botox while I was visiting a more traditionalist and conservative city. It was my first time seeing such doctor. I also wanted her to casually learn that she was dealing with a trans person. At the beginning of the consult we talked about my objectives and any history using Botox. The discussion was cordial and formal though at the moment I didn’t mention anything about my transition.

I thought that a good opportunity to open up would be just as she was about to apply the Botox injections. By that time we had already established a professional relationship and there was really no opportunity for her to reject me because of my background. If she had done so in that moment she would appear as completely intolerant. Though I never felt that she’d be inflexible I wanted to make clear my pride. At the end I felt she was a bit uncomfortable with me but since she didn’t say anything in particular, I really can’t confirm.

Silent Diplomacy

I don’t hide the fact that I’m trans but I also don’t boast about it in most cases. An example of silent diplomacy is a sticker of the trans pride flag that I have on my portable computer.

When I affixed the colours of the trans pride to my computer I was unease with the fact that I’d be advertising my trans identity wherever I’d show up with my MacBook. On the other hand it also forced me to get out of my comfort zone with the objective of showing my affiliation with the community. This is probably the loudest kind of propaganda I do.

A few people have told me a few words of encouragement or support when they see or point at my sticker. I figure others take note but don’t say anything, and probably others simply don’t know what the flag represents. 🏳️‍⚧️

In Regular Conversation

I really like this kind of soft power because it blows right open the door to talk about things that are uncommon in the cisgender dialogue.

One day I was getting a manicure. On that particular day a close friend of mine was getting her voice feminisation surgery. In a casual manner I shared with the manicurist that I was waiting for news from my friend. As I had expected, the girl doing my nails had no idea about the existence of this surgery. It became an excellent opportunity to share with her the basics of the procedure. Not only that but also the important reasons why some people consider and go through the operation.

Conclusion

The use of soft power is not the only tactic to reduce or eliminate the aversion against the trans community. Certainly it is one in which I align myself though. There are other methods of coercion that may be of interest to others. Personally I shy away from confrontation, especially if I can avoid it.

Activism for one: I rather talk to a single person in a more intimate way than trying to convince a crowd of people I don’t know.