This may sound like a celebration of a recent breast augmentation (BA) surgery but the fact is that I had mine back in November of 2017. So why the exclamation that “I got boobs”? It’s because almost everyday, at least for a split second, I celebrate that I got boobs!

It’s actually more complex than just a celebration of my boobs. You see, most of the time throughout the day I forget about “the girls” being there, specially while doing mundane things. There are other times that I am super aware that I got them. For example dressing up and putting on a fitting bra. There’s also the one I don’t like, when for example doing exercise and being on the mat flat on my stomach, I hate feeling the prosthesis against my chest wall. Rather, the feeling is more of a slight discomfort than hate.

And then there’s the surprise! This may sound odd, but there are times during the day that I’m in forget-mode and out of the sudden I’m reminded of my breasts’ pretty presence. Things like walking into the loo and seeing them in the mirror, or picking up something and holding it against my chest. I don’t know; I figure that by now I should be always aware and used to them, but it’s certainly not the case. I still get the pleasant surprise a number of times a day!

Demibra

When I get deeper into the why of the surprise, this is what I always conclude: when my consciousness is focused on mundane things then my unconscious is coasting or reverts to a mode when I didn’t have breasts. In other words, when my brain is busy with daily tasks, my inner core defaults to the way I was brought up. And then, bam! My brain suddenly notices the “new” norm and the surprise is triggered.

I just find it fascinating how my brain deals and creates constant juxtapositions that I’d expect to appear contradicting of each other, but there is no conflict in my head. The direct example I’m thinking right now is that fact that thought my breasts are not all natural due to the BA, they feel right, like they belong and help me complete who I am. The contradicting aspect are those “I got boobs” surprises I get throughout the day highlighting the fact that in my core there were no boobs originally.

Extrapolating even further, it boils down to my core that was formed believing that “this is wrong” or sinful or that I should not be doing this. It is directly related to the fact that I thought that presenting as a girl was not for me. Until 2015 I thought this was not in the cards. The surprise is that I’m doing it and is and has worked really well for me.

Another way that I can try to verbalize the juxtapositions is like two separate persons. Me and the one in the mirror. Me is the same old person I grew up being with hard prejudices and the person in the mirror is that ol’ me broken out of the mold and stripped of the preconceptions. But I see both and I am both!

Anyways, I got boobs!

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