A personal comment that blindsided me and came in the form of a very bizarre combination of 3 words* (in English).
The Slideshow
The computer that we have in the family room has a screen saver that plays a random slideshow from our collection of old family photos. Many of those are old photos of me, as I like to put it, “when I was old and fat”; meaning when I was presenting as a guy.
We were chatting in the family room with someone who hadn’t seen me for more than a year an a half, and the screen saver with our old photos was playing. As the slideshow played we commented on most of the photos, talking about all sorts of memories.
The Weird Comment
After a few of my old photos had passed and we had made a few comments of how I’ve changed. Then, when another of my old photos appeared I got this bizarre comment:
“Death suits you.”*
Eh? When I heard it I was a bit shocked of the choice of words. I had to stop and think for a second what that meant…
Question for you, dear reader: what do you think that comment meant?
After thinking about it for a split second, the answer came to me from some context. As the photos played and we discussed a few of my old ones, other comments swirled around “the person I used to be”. It became clear to me that the “Death suits you” comment was a compliment of how “the person that I am now” is and looks better. Coming from the person who made the comment, firstly, I take it as a big compliment to my personal and physical development since we last met in February of 2016. On the other hand I found interesting the concept of “death” since I never ever use that word when referring to my past.
Probably a window into the perception of others?
P.S. *The actual words in Spanish were “la muerte te va“.
The words used are a little different yet whilst ‘you’ are still fundamentally ‘you’ on the inside the person you look like is not the same by any strench of imagination.
You are not presenting as female you are, and we change everything so the old elements may be seen as indeed being dead.
Enjoy and embrace the new life. Death does indeed suit you.
Thanks Steph! I like the idea that death looks good on me. Haha!
I could argue for hours why the person I look like is the same, but we’ll leave that for a night out for food and drinks with loved ones, ok?
Franches, the chrysalis of your male exterior dying before you emerged from your transformation as a beautiful woman.
I have never seen my process and my experience as dying or wanting to erase the person “I was before”. I’ve always perceived it as a continuation, almost as a natural progression that had to happen. So when I hear other people refer to my experience as a rebirth or chrysalis or the death of the other person, I simply don’t relate to that. Having said that, I can understand why it may appear to others as a rebirth.