This is a love letter to my body. I’m in it as I navigate through this life and I’ve been wanting to say a few things. This letter recollects our recent history together, the development of our relationship, and the unknown antics to come. (NSFW: nudity)
We have been together for a long, long time and that will continue for as long as I am alive. We are one from even before your first breath to the last. I thought it’d be important for you to know how I feel about you. About us.
I took you for granted for the longest and at times I neglected you. Looking back, now I have my regrets for doing that. Yet it brings me so much joy that I came back and payed attention. You showed me the possibilities and when we worked together you returned the favour glowing like the milky way on a clear, moonless winter night.
I don’t know why, but I never believed that it was possible to develop such an intricate relationship. Maybe it’s because I took you for granted even when we’re one. Now I see what I missed. Even better is that I’m still learning from you. I’m learning with you. I’m learning you.
It’s 10 Years
It’s now ten years since we started to amplify our combined potential. Back then I had no idea where we were going. Before that point I just wanted to jump over the wall and run with you. Though I only peeked from above, so, so many times. Every time I looked over I saw and felt a tiny glimpse of paradise but it seemed impossible, like a mirage or a dream. It was like jumping up to the sky and for a split second touching heaven. It was so brief; gravity pulling me back every time.
I did it! We did it! What before seemed like a tall wall it turned out to be a slope. A gentle incline that you showed me the recipe to conquer. It was all that weight, physically, that I had allowed to creep through. That is one of my regrets. Yet we did it, you did it, you came through faster than what I thought was possible.
You Diverted Me
The relationship with you, my body, evolved as we played more and more. We got to know a different side of each other that was daring. Both you and I pushed towards the most neglected areas of responsibility and possibility. Who knew that you’d propel me to explore those nooks that I had ignored; it was pure fear and shame. Once you showed me how to get to them, they turned out to be bigger, brighter and so much more rewarding. It was like being inside brightly lit rooms, with glaring but warm welcoming lights.
At the moment they were games, we were just playing around. We didn’t see it then, but it’s now obvious it was the exact same as how cubs play in preparation for adulthood. It would be four years from when we started playing around until we had to apply those learnt skills to survive in the real world.
Jumping Into Hyperspace With You, My Body
That’s when I decided to take off and leave the galaxy that we had known. You, my body, would be the vessel for the quick voyage across galaxies. It was when I fed you fuel from Venus instead of the one you were running on, from Mars, that you really bloomed.
First there were two painful buds that lead to bloom. They were invisible to anyone yet you cried, not because of the pain, but the realization of what was to come. My attention shifted from the distraction of other bodies to focus on you. I saw you change, but just like the pain of those buds, I was the only one that noted those minuscule differences. With excitement I saw how those adjustments were compounding. I was feeling.
Once you were on the high octane fuel I promised I’d help you with the reforms that were not physically possible without external help. Once again you shone. You showed me your resilience and willingness to move forward. It was, and it is, as if you were meant to have that external help to become more perfect.
Getting to Know You
Now I’ve taken note that though age does matter, your grace has the ability to turn back, not only the clock, but go also go backwards around the sun multiple times.
Your wrappings are softer than the most delicate silks. That same mantle glows like the fine sand of the Caribbean at sunrise.
Your more evolved shape turns heads. You’ve thrust me to learn the details of refined motion. As we translate through space and grab attention, the combination of my new conducting skills with your elegant form feeds my desire. I nourish from all the heed you get. It’s intoxicating.
Sometimes the weapon that is the mirror shows me how fierce I can be while with you. However some other times that mirror weapon turns on me. Like staring down the barrel of a loaded pistol, it shows me the leftovers of our past. In spite of that not all is bad. I’ve too learnt to take that energy and flip it towards our advantage. Observing that reflection I work with you to show the world your best angle.
Learning to Play The Instrument
There is so much to explore in this opposite galaxy. You, my vessel, a collection of sensory transmitters in now a heavenly package. I knew you enjoy soft, slow tactile communication but I did not expect your new powers under the Venusian essence. The confusing capacity to identify the rancid virile stench where nobody else seems to notice. Yet the opposite is true for you. Your complexion now seemingly incapable of recreating that denigrating tang.
My body, malleable ship that I have yet to learn to play well, similar to a delicate musical instrument. Furthermore, I want to learn to compose a symphony for you. I’ve managed to improve from producing primitive random sounds as I play you to creating basic melodies. I’m getting better at harmony and rhythm though I still have a lot of partitas to write. I know the notes will better align to the pentagram in time.
With the melody and harmony that I practice every day, I can play you to create mind-bending lines. They are complex, soft, always round even if just a bit, but never sharp, broken, or abrupt. Their level of intricacy defies all beliefs, softly twisting the mind of the observer. If not, at the very last curving my mind.
The Creator’s Canvas
You were rough, covered in millions of spikes, like the uncomfortable conversation couples have after a nasty spat. Once no more sharp needles, your fibres developed into the almost perfect artist’s surface. When your doorway to a thousand churches is dressed up fancily the attendance looks at you and I become.
Flowers that once grew up in our childhood memories now bloom on you as canvas garden, forever. Your mother and father are there, and their parents, and your brothers and their children, all are there too. A constant reminder in eternal gratitude of where you, we come from.
I use you as the flexible scaffold that holds and shapes the fabrics and materials from around the world. Yet when only the flesh is held and lit no other man-made textile comes even close. It’s the visual; it’s the sense of touch.
I love you. I’ve always loved you, but now in a different manner. In the past there was worth attached to you. It was similar to an ancient coveted currency, paid in kind. Now our relationship is so advanced and evolved that there is no more monetary value connected to you. There is a sense of ether between you and I that has set me free. No more tethering to the social contract with anyone else except you.
Love you, always!
P.S. The images, including the header, are examples of what we can do together.
P.P.S. After writing an open letter to my comfort zone, I’ve been wanting to write a love letter to my body for some time.